“Only let each
person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has
called him…Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.”
-1
Corinthians 7:17 and 20 ESV
I apologize for
my lack of posting. For almost the past two weeks I have been battling a cold
among other things and all motivation I had to study or do anything productive
went out the window. During this time I have found myself struggling a lot with
why I am here in Italy. Why this country and not another? Why not college? Or mission
work? I felt incredibly confident walking into this experience and that confidence
abandoned me. All of the doubts and questions people voiced to me before I left
seeped in the back of my head, pestering me. I started to view myself as a
coward. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t just absolutely love every minute,
but then something changed.
Let me just say
that God’s plan for you is magnificent. Those are words I have always spoken to
myself, but sometimes it is hard when all you can focus on is the temporary,
when tomorrow feels like a far call. Since the day I have arrived I have faced
an incredible amount of cultural shock. For the first time in my life I am not
surrounded by a strong Christian community. I don’t have bible studies I can go
to if I want or even a close friend to pray with. I have fully emerged out of
my Christian bubble and really have gotten a glimpse at the real world. Yes, I
have traveled out of the country before. Yes, I have traveled without my family
out of the country before. I have even traveled with complete strangers out of
the country for a month last summer (well, we weren’t strangers for long). This
is different. To abandon anything familiar and conform to a new lifestyle, that’s
hard. During this time I really have to solely rely on Christ. There isn’t
anyone who is going to hold my hand, pull me aside and feed me. It’s just me
and God. And let me tell you, it has been pretty amazing.
Now I can in
full assurance say that I am here in Italy for a wonderful purpose. I am meant to
be here, just the way I am. This is where I belong and when I go home in June,
that’s where I’ll belong. If all I do this year is eat pizza and learn Italian,
then I have had a successful year because I followed my calling. No one should
ever compare their life to another’s. God did not create you to live a life
like Mary Jo down the street, and I finally understand that. I am going to live
the life the Lord has assigned to me because there is no better way to live.
Next post I’ll
give you an update about all the fun activities I get to be a part of. Thanks
for supporting me through this experience!
Much love,
Kira
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